Every so often, an article or publication strikes a new chord with me. It can be the tone of the article, a standalone quote, or even just the title. Last week, a Twitter follower shared a link to a video on Buzzfeed highlighting various road trips around the country. They nailed it with the trips themselves, but I couldn’t see beyond the opening slide of the film:

“Settle Down” is one of those phrases that makes me twitch in frustration. I imagine it’s the same feeling a parent gets when their child says an inappropriate word for the first time after years of preaching proper language.  I  heard “settle down” quite a bit in my nomadic touring days. I don’t think it’s ill-mannered, either; many people have found love, jobs, communities, and other staples of life that fall into place at just the right time.  When someone pays off all of their student debt or puts a ring on their best friends finger, there is a sense of joy that I imagine we all desire in some capacity.  The people that care about me just want me to have those same experiences- I think that’s a lot of what friendship and community is adopt. While settle is defined as “to adopt a more steady or secure style of life”, I often perceive within a secondary definition: “to accept or agree to something that one considers to be less than satisfactory”.

When my college roommate moved into his first house with his wife, he wasn’t agreeing to something that he wasn’t happy with- we were all ecstatic that he had a beautiful place with a back yard perfect for summer barbecues. Two weeks ago, my other roommate welcomed his son into the world and we all wanted to fist bump in excitement for what that child’s life brings to their family.

Rather than spending time and energy complaining about people that ask me when I am going to settle down, I think I’ll just question how we are defining it.

When am I going to stay in one place at one time? When I have access to the funds to pay for a space while still making the  most out of long weekends and vacation days. For my birthday, some friends got me a scratch-off world map that shows everywhere I’ve been; it still has a lot of golden foil to be removed.

When will I get married? I imagine that’ll be when I fall madly in love with a woman that can put up with my old man jokes, my receding hair line, my whimsical decision-making process, and my inability to go to bed at a decent hour. Oh, and indubitably, she’s going to be smokin’ hot.

When will you grow up? Pending your definition of growing up, I hope I have a clear answer to this one…

NEVER.